oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize