I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
