is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
