After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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