The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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