I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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