did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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