I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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