I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
