Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
