Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
