roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
