My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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