I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wish you could order shots online.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
