Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
