I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
