I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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