We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
