OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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