i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize