It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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