So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
