Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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