and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
