and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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