Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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