dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
