we made out on top of his cat.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
