i barfeds in our rink
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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