apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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