I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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