Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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