I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
