if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
