Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This is the high leading the old right now
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
