I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
