Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
