we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
