Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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