i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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