i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
