Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize
