what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
