woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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