I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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