Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
