I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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