drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
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Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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