his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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