he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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