Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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