I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
