Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
