3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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