Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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