All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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