I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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