and you said cock pushups were impossible
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
