I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
they need to just BURY HIM!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just found puke in my bra..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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