make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
