So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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