If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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