Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
