I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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