i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
